Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in eldiosdetodo's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 25th, 2005
5:01 pm	YES! aaaaah, it feels sooooooo great to come home and do exactly what I had wanted to do. Especially when it's lying on my bed and listening to the greatest guitar performance ever (Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock, August 18, 1969) non stop through the entire hour. wow do I love music and life! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
12:31 am	aye yai yai definitely a weekend that'll never be forgotten. to experience such extremes of human emotion in a 12 hour period is, to say the least, taxing. the power and spontaneity of nature was evident in LA, where my low car could barely ford an intersection, and 30 mins later it was devoid of any water. also a weekend full of knowledge, varying from the characteristics of black holes, to a horizon distance of 3.51 nautical miles, to supertramp, to an impromptu discussion of eastern asian history. yikes this young man must rest! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 14th, 2005
11:45 pm	yosemite! wow, yosemite is unbelievable. i spent the weekend there, now at an age when i fully appreciate the magnificence of not jsut the stars of grade school trips to Glacier Point, but also the shear faces of granite rising the height of three Empire State buildings. winter is definitely the best time to visit, with snow coveering upper elevations and only a handful of tourists. the snowshoeing trek to Dewey Point in powder was the equivalent of the stairmaster near its highest setting for 2 straight hours each way, and don't forget it's at 7000 feet elevation. along w/ the 7 miles and 1500 vertical ascent from the day before i'm feeling rather fit. sledding was buttloads of fun, bringing out my inner engineer as we carded and built banks and jumps for the pink disc to glide over. somewhat nerv-wracking at Dewey Point, where the V shaped ground leads out to a pile of boulders that we perched on for lunch; get too close to the edge behind me and the snow could give way and tumble with me down the 1500+ foot vertical drop the to the rocky crags below! but by far the best part was the clear and moonless sat. night sky. laying in the middle of a street and seeing from east to west horizon's perfectly, with ginormous granite walls towering to the north and south. saw jupiter and watched as orion and the sky's brightest star sirius crossed the view. and without the moon came into view stars that i had never seen before, absolutely amaxing. tried calling like i said i would, just no service. it was one of the most beautiful sights i've ever seen. return trips are now necessary. oh yeah, happy single's awareness day! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
12:23 am	gettin shit done excited that i made some good use of my day off. potentially saved 2 lives today w/ my O+, apparently there was an emergency need for my type. deposited some checks and gave the roomie a damn sexy haircut. also reviewed list from my debriefing on this weekends snowshoeing excursion. finished it off w/ a bit of a change; tostada tuesday replaced tacos today, though the difference between any mexican dish is minimal at best. started a new book, some interesting journalistic viewpoints. as usual mentally rehearsed and prepared for a certain conversation. gonna change the oil tomorrow, and even got some hw done early tonight! How's the psyche holding up? well, can't complain. as usual kickin ass in the stress dept. slightly worried about the lack of substantial income, but i'm makin it. i'd have to say the only thing that's really got me now is the absence of that special someone. and although my dreams have sufficed for quite awhile, the thought of something so much better has pushed me to abandon my hesitations. nothin like rockin out at 12:34 am to some new-to-me SRV and los lonely boys. strange that the tip of my right middle finger should hurt more from the sample prick than my inner elbow from having a needle in it for 45 mins. for the first time watched the needle going in, strange sensation. it had the usual sting but stranger cuz watching it seemed like it should hurt more, after all it is a huge needle in my largest vein. Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 30th, 2005
2:25 am	a grand day aaaaah, the best day since that sunday a month ago, i aided the community and helped save a 150-year-old adobe house w/ my locked away knowledge of shovels and maddocks. the 4 hours spent in physical labor were some of the best this quarter, in the sun and shade of a palm, working the muscles as they should be, digging trenches and tilling the ground. My once-all-to-familiar callouses began to form, reminding me of the first 18 years of my existence. Along with free pizza and probably $12 worth of free guacamoles, it was the best punishment i could've asked for. follow that up with a quick nap, and a fantastic movie (though i sat next to one of the most insecure and judgemental girls ever, and in the front row), and i've got myself a good daytime spent. luck was on my side at firestone's grill where i quickly wound my slightly aching frame through the crowds of table waiters and secured and empty, and got my food first. Top it all off w/ several hooka rips and a bit of free booze, followed by some more hooka rips, one of those silently recognized cosmic romantic moments, and some celtic dancing, and i've had myself one helluva day! We'll see how the weekend finishes out with a trip to the Buddha temple en la madrugada and some homemade sushi for dinner. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 28th, 2005
12:03 am	YAAAAARRRGGGH! THIS HERE TEST THING BE ME VILLAIN! Current Mood: frazzled (Comment on this)
Monday, January 24th, 2005
11:37 pm	"don't worry, be happy" in my current case it's a better fit if rephrased to "don't worry, be content." yet there's that possibility of happiness if worry myself into action. i'm just not sure i have the courage (something i'm not prone to admit often) to act on my imaginations. reminds me of an arizona desert story: There's a parakeet in a golden cage. it's the most beautiful cage, stunning to the point of near worship, that any bird has ever lived in. the parakeet is soooo happy living in this most excellent cage and has no desire to change it's ways. in fact, this parakeet is so content in its cage that it never notices that the cage door is wide open. after finishing the book at the beginning of the 20 min bus drive, i sat in silence reading the various ads near the ceiling. for a bit i just stared at the back of the bus driver. so strange that someone surrounded all day by people (save for insects arguably the most social animals), might not speak or be spoken to the entire day. then i reflect on days my days in the beanie, wandering the campus and not saying a single audible word from bedtime to dinnertime. when the girl next to me on the bench seat got off, i extended my long frame over the 3 seats and relished in my fantastic ability to relax and consume space with absolute comfort in most environments. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
10:22 pm	damn the obvious so my self-depricating problem was put into words by my roomie. And I knew it to be true yet gave myself many excuses about opportune moments and such bullshit. I suppose I'll have to take action or never see my dreams (a real dream as of recently) materialize. So within a month and a half I intend on creating the opportune moment, then we'll see what happens. marvelous weekend spent w/ my fav's; beach, booze, nocturnal imaginations of spreading bugs and unspoken words, booze, hooka, a little more booze (mostly very tasty), and laughter to the infinity. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 9th, 2005
2:35 am	drunk, shished, drenched in Eternal Sunshine theme tunes which soak me in reminiscent thoughts; things i should've said, things that still need to be said (my philosophy of no regerets is starting to cathc up tw/ me), things that i'm not sure should be said. BUT HOW LONG CAN I GO ON LIKE THIS?!?!?!? i'm amazed yet terrified at my ability to avoid the obvious (is it so true? i still have doubts though slightly yet not sufficiently reduced from the last solo communication). BIG period there, as if there's some finality, HA! mmmmmm, that place in the mountains that i love so dearly, please accompany me there sometime soon. oh the big fir tree, treehouse, upstairs room, mini waterfall, meadow, washout road, mushroom patches, abandoned weed plants, childhood, adolescence, me, family, sister, work, work, work, yet self-reliance, independence, the feeling that i can make it in the world alone if need be, etc. etc. I miss them all so dearly, yet desire one thing even more. I've imagined such a situation many a time. a fleeting yet eternal moment of elation. Please, just one. to anyon eknowledtable, the oppopsite of prograssive? retrogresssinve? degressive? (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 5th, 2005
12:13 am	do i read w/ too much vanity? did i waste a golden opportunity? on a much less confused note, the stars are brilliant tonight (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
12:33 am	ramblings/musings Arrive at 3:30am in the rain, what better way to start a new quarter? With 5 hours of sleep between the eyes I grumpily stumble onto the bus and it's to fill up soon with bubbly people all ready for school to start again. Pass the Laser Eye sign, I suppose it's a clinic but what if they give you a Cyclops-esque mutation? Sure would make normal tasks difficult. It'd change a lot of things too, i.e. intimacy would be, well, intimate. Walking down the hall I'm cheering up and laugh to myself at the blonde with the creamsicle toned skin. Between classes I fill over 5 pages in the paper journal. My imagination has gotten a boost by Finding Neverland (highly recommended movie). My new STATs teacher presents material as if it's a clown parade or trapeze artist, then he opens the lion's jaws and I stick my head inside. The Indian CE professor provides some much needed hilarity, Hitler moustache, extremely baggy slacks, and a windbreaker. In my antisocial stupor I don a beanie and find that not a single person recognizes me. I pass tens of friends/acquaintences that don't give me a glance, and I pass each in wonder, does it change my appearance that much? I'll have to try this more often. Nick Drake puts me on the deck of a log cabin in the Rocky's overlooking a flower-riddled meadow and the sudden gift of acoustic talent. Are these chords truly coming from my headphones? The sound seems too far back, and in the middle of my brain. Perhaps my parietal is pulsating a tune for its own amusement. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 1st, 2005
10:29 pm	My last night at home. It's been long enough for me to truly forget that I have a second life as a college student in a city 300 miles away, which was fantastic. But now my near fantasy is coming to a close, and those I know and love best will be physically absent for too long a time. :( Nuff said (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
11:53 pm	me encanta la playa Absolute giddiness as I emerge from the dark, don the Blublockers and hear a fantastic song Delight that it's only a few fishermen and I Twinge of pain as the pebbles dig into my quickly paced feet Complete content while my epidermis soaks up the UV rays. Momentary fear as I turn to see the wolf running towards me with those sky blue eyes Relief as the wolfs owner calls off the attack Amused that so many are dressed for cold weather as I lie there shirtless Curiosity as more and more creases develop in my brain due to a book on genetics Satisfaction as cool H2O slides down my throat Exuberant as my feet rapidly retrace my previous tracks Intrigue as I feel pain in unknown muscles and a soreness in the tendons under my toes Entranced at the sight of a father watching his toddler discovering sand Frustration closely followed by hope at the thought of what developments the next week and a half might bring (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
4:28 pm	This break so far has been exciting, tumultuous, relaxing, amaxingly fun, informative, etc., and the events of the past week are racing through my troubled conscious. Lot's of talk w/ the wise parents and much consideration on their advice: patience. Yet I've been patient for the past several months, how long must this uncertainty go on? To answer my own question, probably a long while depending on my own courage, sensibility, and desire. But thus far I'm pleased that I've learned from a mistake and haven't gotten a third party involved. The beach today was marvelous. Escaped the dark somber dreariness of lower Caz and found myself half naked on the beach reading and watching. Watching the lovers strolling, lone dog-walkers, families that brought their kids on xmas break to enjoy the sand, warmth, and light breeze. Join me at Goat Rock tomorrow for a similar few hours, only this time w/ food. (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 5th, 2004
1:26 am	Friday I was privy to the absurdity of our legal system, yet after a frustrating 2.5 hours ended up somewhat happy saving $140. Studying just isn't my thing, but I'm getting slightly better at it. As much as I love the rain, I wish it would go away tomorrow and come back for several days, just so long as it doesn't interrupt the massive potluck I'm supposed to have. Can't get enough of those nights around the house with the roomies and maybe a few others when we're all just goofy. Absolutely cracks me up and finishes the day well. Nothin like a great boardgame and a funny movie (who would've thought Mean Girls was amusing!) to finish off a Sat night. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 3rd, 2004
12:20 am	My deceased aunt Jane grabs my hand and spins me around, while all my male ancestors surround us in a blur until my uncle Andy grabs my hand. Jane holds my cheeks in her hands and kisses my forehead. Then she grabs both hands and we spin around each other so all I see is her smiling face, all else is blurry. Then her face suddenly changes to the girl foremost in my everyday thoughts, who is wearing a slightly concerned yet non-negative expression. Then Andy is standing in front of Jane, although neither has actually met the other, and Andy is absorbed into Jane to create a being (It) resembling both. The being motions towards this girl and I ask them if it's She I'm supposed to "go for". Suddenly it opens it mouth wide and sucks me down it's throat until I'm in the belly staring out, and the Hendrix song "Belly Button Window" comes to mind. Then She peers into the belly and sees me and is baffled by my miniature person. Now I'm out on It's outstreched hand, standing on the palm up when It starts to suck my in again. So I leap into and endless chasm and She catches me, saves me. Then I'm on Her head, holding onto her pulled back hair staring at It. It starts trying to suck me in again, assuring me it's ok, but I'm terrified and hold onto Her hair as best I can. But here I am, days later still ignorant as to the meaning of it all, maybe the internet will shed some light on the situation, or something will change between Her and I (yet that has a very slim possibility, in part due to my lack of courage). I hope I can battle the city of SLO effectively tomorrow and save some $. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
3:27 pm	"What does it all mean, all this shit I've seen" -Public Enemy Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 28th, 2004
9:40 pm	I'm fat. But in a very satifying manner, and also feeling very refreshed after a visit to the homeland, breathing beautiful air, conversing with wonderfully strange people (amongst them family), and reliving so many fantastic memories that have shaped my character. Although I now feel bald, and unsure of how I'll cope with the loss of the privelege to purchase that which livens the boring and makes bearable such disgusting parties. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
4:42 pm	perfumes I got in the classroom before either of the people I usually sit near to. I'm sitting in the theater seating and they both come in at the same time. One passes me and sits on my left, the other on my right. Not more than a second after their butts have found the chairs, the odors sprayed on their persons begin to fight a fierce battle for my nasal nerves. First comes the scent of the girl that had to walk past me, just a classmate, but then the barrage of the familiar odor of my friend on the right. I can't think of anything but these competitors and the reaction I'm supposed to have for them. Eventually the classmates wins and overpowers my nose, although it was a good smell, of incense scented like a sweet flower, perhaps a rose. Different from most suggestive perfumes. At the moment though, both are rather annoying. I know their function is to seduce me, to fill my thoughts with images and fantasies of the wearer. And admittedly when the testosterone is surging and I smell passionate perfume, it gets the hormones racing. But in theater class at 9:30am, or any place when I'm not in that specific mood, it just doesn't have the same effect. Instead I shun from the smell and wish to race outside for a breath of mostly fresh air. Why must women, and men for that matter, always smell good? Why can't they just prevent themselves from smelling bad? Put on some deodorant to hide any B.O. and leave it at that? Current Mood: "grand" (Comment on this)
12:02 am	lot of controversy on campus over gay marraige after a landscape architecture class created a display that insinuated gay marraige could lead to bestiality. what a disgusting project, but props to the lesbian professor who authorized her students to do it in spite of her own beliefs. A lot of people including myself have been writing letters to the editor of the daily campus paper, most in favor of gay marraige. but it's the silent yet large minority that scares me. the huge faction of "campus crusaders" as they call themselves. what an ugly thought. much frustration as i argue w/ other students through the opinion columns over christianity, evolution, gay marraige and the like. even more frustration knowing that even though i take time to mildly research and write such articles, it's not gonna influence a single disbeliever of evolution. ah well, can't change the world, only myself, and hope that they'll change themselves in turn. reading a fascinating book on evolution Richard Dawkins' The Selfish Gene. damn the neighbors and damn early classes. (Comment on this)